The Poo-Poo Problem

I apologize in advance for writing on a subject of a delicate nature. At first it was not the inconvenience I thought it would be. Now it has become the inconvenience I thought it could be. I have learned one very important thing while in Korea--get all your number 2 done at the homestead!! You might ask why it is of such dire importance to make sure you aren't caught miles from home with the urge to squat. I'll tell you. There are public restrooms everywhere, and they are very accessible. The have stalls with toilets, urinals and sinks for washing hands...everything one can find in an American restroom. The problem is the toilet. Inside these stalls are not toilets at all but porcelain fixtures that are placed in the ground. They are placed in the ground and do not rise above ground level. Want to do your #2? You better show me your best catcher's stance! It's terrible. I don't understand why they couldn't pay a little more for a toilet? The amount of porcelain in these fixtures is about half of a toilets worth. Why not the other half and make it that much more convenient!?! I have not yet braved the toilet, if one could call it a toilet, in my workplace, nor do I plan to. For now, my rule of thumb is don't leave work until zero hour, especially if you haven't done your business. Because once your leave your front door step, it will be 9 to 10 long hours before you get back to what we know and love as "the toilet".

KICKS ASS: President Obama's Innaugaration Speech was on television last night.

SUCKS ASS: It was on at 2 in the morning and with loud Korean translation running over his inaudible speech.

(DiD NOT PROOFREAD)